My Saturday

Fellowship committee meeting this past Saturday.

Took us four hours.

Seriously need to change that.

The atmosphere... is worrying.

Too many people unwilling to compromise or collaborate.

Arguing over petty little things.

My head was throbbing all day. Slept like a log that night.

The Ricky's Counselling course wasn't really useful, if you ask me.

Belittled by some cocky uncle who thinks he's some wiseman guru.

Unbelievable.

My... Ramblings

Haven't blogged in a while.

Not a lot happening of late. Work five days a week. Church Saturday. Church Sunday. Work...

James Blunt concert this Friday. Taking the day off so there's no rush rush.

Still trying to work through issues from two years ago. They keep rearing their ugly heads.

It still hurts. But what can I do? Go to another church? Leave town?

All I can do is brace myself for more every week.

Am I a masochist?

My Disillusionment

Very, very, extremely annoyed about choir right now.

I was not aware that the 诗班长 had the authority to hire and fire as she wished.

I wonder what sort of input was sought on these decisions.

I wonder who, if anyone, was consulted.

This is supposed to be a God-serving choir, not someone's selective play group.

Are we supposed to be scared now? Are we supposed to suck up to her and get in her good books so we can stay in the choir?

I'd be even more outraged if some higher power authorized this.

This is getting out of control. Ridiculous.

I demand an explanation.

My Heavy Heart

You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)
Josh Groban

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy I
I will lift it for you
Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you I
I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside I
I'll be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you I
I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
You are loved

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Everyone needs to be heard
You are loved

My Just Reward

This is not good...

I'm actually beginning to accept defeat...

I'm actually beginning to accept that I'll never live happily ever after...

I'm actually beginning to accept that God will not give me an abundant life because my sins are too heavy for His grace...

I'm actually beginning... to accept... that I will be alone...

尋常

在這個將一切... 貶值成爲"尋常"... 的社會裏...

我實在... 不能再... 生存下去了...

永別了...

Interesting Parallel

What's more interesting to see?

The migration of salmon fish eastward up the river to spawn and die?

Or the migration of humans westward down the highway to watch these salmon fish spawn and die?

XD wahahaha I kill myself...