解脫

上一篇的 blog 是有必要的.

不是因爲我依然抑鬱依然低落.

正因爲我需要從泥沼中爬出來.

別擔心, 我會復原的.

復原的第一步已經踏出了.

別再原地轉圈了.

往事不堪回首

也許我還是放不下.

也許我不放下的話, 永遠都走不出這死胡同.

和她一起的兩年, 是我人生最快樂的日子.

分手之後的兩年, 是我人生最痛苦的日子.

兩年之後又兩年, 再過兩年, 會是怎麽樣的境況?

日子兩年兩年的過去, 剩下的是什麽? 不過是一陣陣的唏噓, 内疚, 羞愧.

一切不再有任何意義, 任何價值.

時間會沖淡一切, 直到回憶中只剩下朦朧的身影.

往日的愚昧, 成爲今天的教訓.

把自己從昨天釋放出來, 畢竟時光不能倒流.

到如今都不明白, 但這個解釋已經不再重要.

她的喜怒哀樂, 已與我無關. 令她快樂, 不再是我的責任. 那兩年裏, 我已經盡了力.

讓一切長眠, 讓時間磨滅一切, 直到剩下的只有看不見的痕跡, 也許是唯一的辦法.

受夠了.

Buttheading

If hitting someone with your head is called headbutting... then do you call getting hit in the head buttheading?

Anyway, I ask because I got whacked in the head by a stray fist in soccer yesterday over lunch. Guy's a crap player, okay? I was going to dribble around him and that clumsy bastard whacked me on the forehead. I was seriously stunned by the blow. Even now it still hurts to frown.

People at work are getting rougher in soccer. I'm not sure it's worth it anymore.

好讽刺

昨晚的晚餐, 好多人.

都是爸妈的师兄师姐师弟师妹, 以前的同事等等.

出乎意料的是某人的父母也在一席.

庆幸的事, 某人没有在场. 大概在收拾行李.

颇为尴尬的场面. 最讽刺的是, 当一班 uncle auntie 问起谁的公子谁的千金什么时候结婚时, 某人的母亲说, 我的两个女儿没有人要啊.

啼笑皆非的场面.

Merci...

Thanks... I really needed that.

Thanks for being such a loyal friend.

Thanks for being unafraid to speak your mind with honesty.

10 weeks

So it took 10 full weeks to finally happen.

Yup, I parked my car at Brentwood, and was about to get out when I realized I'd forgotten my work card.

So back we went to my place. By the time we left again it was 0744. So we decided to drive all the way down. Took Stoney, Sarcee, Glenmore, and 14th. Finally parked at work around 0830.

So there you have it. The inevitable happens.

yes all you have to do is cry...

Closer
Joshua Radin

so we're alone again
i wish it were over
we seem to never end
only get closer
to the point where i can take no more
the clouds in your eyes
down your face they pour
won't you

be the new one burn to shine
i take the blue ones every time
walk me down your broken line
all you have to do is cry
yes all you have to do is cry

hush my baby now
your talking is just noise
and won't lay me down
amongst your toys
in a room where i can take no more
the clouds in your eyes
down your face they pour
won't you

be the new one burn to shine
i take the blue ones every time
walk me down your broken line
all you have to do is cry
yes all you have to do is cry

photographs and brightly colored paper
are your masks you wear in this caper
that is our life
we walk right into the strife
and a tear from your eye brings me home
won't you

be the new one burn to shine
i take the blue ones every time
walk me down your broken line
all you have to do is cry
all you have to do is cry