Chelsea Crowned

It's official: Roman Abramovich has succeeded in buying himself a Premiership title.

Extravagant spendings in the two years since the Russian's purchase of the football club have landed them their first title in 50 years. Their second overall in 100 years of existence. That's right, two freakin' titles in a century. I pray to God that the trend continues and they don't win another one till 2055.

Real Madrid legend Fernando Hierro, now seeing out his career with the Bolton Wanderers, spoke before Saturday's game against Chelsea, saying that Chelsea cannot be compared to Real Madrid, voted FIFA Team of the 20th Century in a landslide.

Heck, Chelsea can't even compare with the 1980's Liverpool or the 1990's Manchester United. With the 2004/05 title, they now have as many top-flight titles as the likes of Portsmouth ('49, '50), Tottenham ('51, '61), Derby County ('72, '75), and Manchester City ('37, '68). Ahead of them, Wolverampton ('54, '58, '59), Leeds ('69, '74, '92), and Everton ('63, '70, '85, '87) have all achieved more post-war, nevermind the trio of Liverpool (14 post-war, 18 total), Man United (13, 15), and Arsenal (8, 13). Even more staggering are the differences in top-two finishes: Liverpool has 29, Man United 27, Arsenal 20; Chelsea has a paltry 3. In 100 years.

Sure, they now have a title to show for all their money. Yeah, Mr. Abramovich is so filthy rich he probably flushes money down the toilet for shits and giggles. But here's a newsflash for you: Chelsea's championship team will never have the respect enjoyed by the truly great clubs around the world. Success that can be bought is worth about as much as a store-bought bowling trophy.