So embarrassed at the restaurant last night.
Stupid waiter. Stupid, stupid waiter.
Actually, pretty darn smart for a stupid waiter.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Jealousy?
Ya know... it's true, I think...
As much as I find her attractive for how nice she is to anybody and everybody... I do see how jealousy could be a problem for me as well...
Much to be learned...
And perhaps I have plenty of time to learn... but I can never start too soon...
As much as I find her attractive for how nice she is to anybody and everybody... I do see how jealousy could be a problem for me as well...
Much to be learned...
And perhaps I have plenty of time to learn... but I can never start too soon...
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
5W & 1H
邊個? 乜嘢? 幾時? 邊度? 點解? 點樣?
谁? 什么? 什么时候? 哪里? 为什么? 怎么?
Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?
Wer? Was? Wann? Wo? Warum? Wie?
Qui? Quel? Quand? Où? Pourquoi? Comment?
Chi? Che? Quando? Dove? Perchè? Come?
¿Quién? ¿Qué? ¿Cuándo? ¿Dónde? ¿Por qué? ¿Cómo?
谁? 什么? 什么时候? 哪里? 为什么? 怎么?
Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?
Wer? Was? Wann? Wo? Warum? Wie?
Qui? Quel? Quand? Où? Pourquoi? Comment?
Chi? Che? Quando? Dove? Perchè? Come?
¿Quién? ¿Qué? ¿Cuándo? ¿Dónde? ¿Por qué? ¿Cómo?
Monday, February 20, 2006
More
The more time I spend around you, the more impressed I am by you.
Your actions this afternoon show that I'm indeed falling for a girl with character, virtues, and inner beauty.
I am reminded of Proverbs 31:10-31, which speaks of The Wife of Noble Character.
Lord, I could never do enough to win her heart. But I shall seek Your heart first in these matters.
Your actions this afternoon show that I'm indeed falling for a girl with character, virtues, and inner beauty.
I am reminded of Proverbs 31:10-31, which speaks of The Wife of Noble Character.
Lord, I could never do enough to win her heart. But I shall seek Your heart first in these matters.
What would melt my heart...
To watch you sleep...
To watch you yawn...
To listen to your rhythmic breathing while you dream...
To see you enjoy being around me...
To see you're actually interested in what I talk about...
To see my own reflection when I look into your eyes...
To watch you take care of children...
To see your face light up at the mention of... chocolate... or icecream...
To see how gorgeous you are, even when rushed out the door...
To watch you yawn...
To listen to your rhythmic breathing while you dream...
To see you enjoy being around me...
To see you're actually interested in what I talk about...
To see my own reflection when I look into your eyes...
To watch you take care of children...
To see your face light up at the mention of... chocolate... or icecream...
To see how gorgeous you are, even when rushed out the door...
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Trouble
Someone seems to be in trouble.
And it would be wrong for me to wish her ill.
I hope whatever it is will be resolved soon.
Trying really hard to fight off evil thoughts.
And it would be wrong for me to wish her ill.
I hope whatever it is will be resolved soon.
Trying really hard to fight off evil thoughts.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Over-rationalizing Emotions
Luis pointed out that I have this tendency to invalidate my emotions by over-rationalizing with my logical mind.
I'll tell you this: I was happy today. And I'm trying to not feed my happiness through my brain.
I'll tell you this: I was happy today. And I'm trying to not feed my happiness through my brain.
Mirror
How I reacted last night and today made me realize just how resentful and bitter I still am.
I just don't seem to be able to get over the hurt. And it shows. I know it shows. I know others notice. I know even people I want to hide this from most, notice.
Does it really just take time? What if I don't feel any different with time? What will happen in time to change how I feel? Am I a failure if it doesn't change even when I fall in love again? Or if it takes someone else for it to change?
"... [love] keeps no record of wrongs."
I can't do it, I can't. I don't love her, in any sense of the word. I suppose that in itself already makes me a failure.
I just don't seem to be able to get over the hurt. And it shows. I know it shows. I know others notice. I know even people I want to hide this from most, notice.
Does it really just take time? What if I don't feel any different with time? What will happen in time to change how I feel? Am I a failure if it doesn't change even when I fall in love again? Or if it takes someone else for it to change?
"... [love] keeps no record of wrongs."
I can't do it, I can't. I don't love her, in any sense of the word. I suppose that in itself already makes me a failure.
Squirrelly Wisdom
Bloody cold outside today again. Parked the other side of the University station nevertheless. And as I came down the stairs toward the university, a black squirrel with something that initially looked like a nut of some sort caught my eyes as it raced toward, then up, a tree next to the sidewalk. My eyes followed it up the trees, and I slowed to a stop and watched it as it began chewing on what now seemed more like half an apple. And there I stood for a good five to ten minutes in the bloody cold as it munched on the frozen fruit. For a second it appeared to stare at me staring at it while it feasted. Then it leapt onto another branch and ignored me as it went about munching.
It got me thinking, how a squirrel managed to find food in the middle of winter. Surely God was watching over it. Surely God prepared the apple for this day. And I thought, if God watches over this squirrel, surely He watches over me. Yet the squirrel did not just kick back and wait for food to drop in its lap. It went to search for it. "Seek and ye shall find." Just as the Israelites had to go out and gather manna, which did drop out of the skies. Lesson? Nothing comes without effort. I still need to do my part on Earth.
That's it for now, way past my bedtime.
Edit (Feb 23, 2006 @ 00:25): Okay, my bad... manna didn't exactly drop out of the skies... quails did... but you get my drift...
It got me thinking, how a squirrel managed to find food in the middle of winter. Surely God was watching over it. Surely God prepared the apple for this day. And I thought, if God watches over this squirrel, surely He watches over me. Yet the squirrel did not just kick back and wait for food to drop in its lap. It went to search for it. "Seek and ye shall find." Just as the Israelites had to go out and gather manna, which did drop out of the skies. Lesson? Nothing comes without effort. I still need to do my part on Earth.
That's it for now, way past my bedtime.
Edit (Feb 23, 2006 @ 00:25): Okay, my bad... manna didn't exactly drop out of the skies... quails did... but you get my drift...
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Reminders
Isaiah 55:8-9 "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."
Micah 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
Matthew 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."
Micah 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
Matthew 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Problem Solved
Hey, I'm not the creative type. But I do know how to solve a problem when I see one. Logical, rational minds are capable of that. It's the illogical, irrational hearts that cause trouble.
So it's important to keep a sound mind and stay in control of my fluttering heart everytime I so much as think of her. Now is not the time.
So it's important to keep a sound mind and stay in control of my fluttering heart everytime I so much as think of her. Now is not the time.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Sign of Pride
Learned a lesson today.
I've only ever edited other people's resume's, never the other way around.
Well, imagine my embarrassment when I opened up one of four cover letters I sent out at the end of last month to use as template for other positions, and saw that it read January 30, 2005.
Lesson learned: Always, always, always have someone else proofread.
I've only ever edited other people's resume's, never the other way around.
Well, imagine my embarrassment when I opened up one of four cover letters I sent out at the end of last month to use as template for other positions, and saw that it read January 30, 2005.
Lesson learned: Always, always, always have someone else proofread.
Meek
Meek = Patient, Humble, Gentle
Not Meek = Impatient, Proud, Crude
Conclusion: I'm not Meek.
Action: Need to learn Meek.
Not Meek = Impatient, Proud, Crude
Conclusion: I'm not Meek.
Action: Need to learn Meek.
Frustrated and Confused
God I hate Valentine's Day...
Feel like I was manipulated...
Feel like I did some things I didn't know the reason for... that made no logical sense...
I trust my sis has a reasonable explanation for this...
Feel like I was manipulated...
Feel like I did some things I didn't know the reason for... that made no logical sense...
I trust my sis has a reasonable explanation for this...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Getting a Ring
Got my eyes set on a ring... getting it next month...
It's a big step... from boyhood to manhood... a milestone in my life...
Really excited about it... life will never be the same again...
It's a big step... from boyhood to manhood... a milestone in my life...
Really excited about it... life will never be the same again...
Monday, February 13, 2006
"Oh my gosh!"...
... was my first thought when I heard this song on the radio.
You And Me
Lifehouse
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you...
... and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
You And Me
Lifehouse
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you...
... and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Vocal Potentials
Saw Andrea Bocelli's performance at the Torino Olympics tonight. What an impressive tenor.
If only I could be half as good.
Honestly, I believe there's much potential to be discovered and released. But how to go about it, I don't know.
If only I could be half as good.
Honestly, I believe there's much potential to be discovered and released. But how to go about it, I don't know.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Timeframe
I think I've made up my mind to do something about it.
Question is "When?".
I'm thinking three years is a reasonable timeframe.
Should anything unexpected happen in the meantime, well, c'est la vie.
Question is "When?".
I'm thinking three years is a reasonable timeframe.
Should anything unexpected happen in the meantime, well, c'est la vie.
Could it be, that...
Somebody Loves Me
Music & Lyrics: George Gershwin, B.G. DeSylva, Ballard MacDonald
When this world began it was Heaven's plan
There should be a girl for ev'ry single man.
To my great regret someone has upset
Heaven's pretty program for we've never met.
I'm clutching at straws, just because I may meet her yet.
Somebody loves me, I wonder who,
I wonder who she can be.
Somebody loves me, I wish I knew,
Who can she be worries me.
For ev'ry girl who passes me I shout, "Hey, maybe
You were meant to be my loving baby. "
Somebody loves me, I wonder who,
Maybe it's you.
Music & Lyrics: George Gershwin, B.G. DeSylva, Ballard MacDonald
When this world began it was Heaven's plan
There should be a girl for ev'ry single man.
To my great regret someone has upset
Heaven's pretty program for we've never met.
I'm clutching at straws, just because I may meet her yet.
Somebody loves me, I wonder who,
I wonder who she can be.
Somebody loves me, I wish I knew,
Who can she be worries me.
For ev'ry girl who passes me I shout, "Hey, maybe
You were meant to be my loving baby. "
Somebody loves me, I wonder who,
Maybe it's you.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
What would make me happy...
To see you everyday...
To talk to you everyday...
To know you better...
To see you smile...
To be the cause of your smile...
To be there for you when you're upset...
To do anything with you... whether it's seeing a play, a concert, or a Johnny Depp movie...
To do anything for you... whether it's editing cover letters or giving you a ride home...
To think of you...
To know you're thinking of me...
To look into your eyes and see that you feel the same way as I do...
To hear your sweet, angelic voice...
To discover even more of your amazing qualities...
To be able to tell you how special you are...
... the list goes on...
To talk to you everyday...
To know you better...
To see you smile...
To be the cause of your smile...
To be there for you when you're upset...
To do anything with you... whether it's seeing a play, a concert, or a Johnny Depp movie...
To do anything for you... whether it's editing cover letters or giving you a ride home...
To think of you...
To know you're thinking of me...
To look into your eyes and see that you feel the same way as I do...
To hear your sweet, angelic voice...
To discover even more of your amazing qualities...
To be able to tell you how special you are...
... the list goes on...
Tickets
February 11, 8:00pm: Marilyn Engle @ Rozsa Centre, too expensive... $18 for student...
February 19, 2:00pm: The Marriage of Figaro @ University Theatre, still have to get...
February 22, 8:00pm: Amadeus @ Jack Singer Concert Hall, check!
I'd really like her to come with me... ^^
February 19, 2:00pm: The Marriage of Figaro @ University Theatre, still have to get...
February 22, 8:00pm: Amadeus @ Jack Singer Concert Hall, check!
I'd really like her to come with me... ^^
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
I Need a Date
Today, 11:00am, CPSC411 class @ MFH160. Just as Dr. Cockett prepared to begin the lecture, a student behind me asked him a question.
Student: "Do you have a date for the midterm yet?"
At this point I nearly burst out laughing and consequently missed Dr. Cockett's answer, which is okay, since obviously the funny part isn't in his answer.
I turned to my friends next to me and said, "Whoa, we need a date for the midterm?? I mean, I know we need a date for prom... but midterms??"
Laughter all around.
Student: "Do you have a date for the midterm yet?"
At this point I nearly burst out laughing and consequently missed Dr. Cockett's answer, which is okay, since obviously the funny part isn't in his answer.
I turned to my friends next to me and said, "Whoa, we need a date for the midterm?? I mean, I know we need a date for prom... but midterms??"
Laughter all around.
反感
刚才经过 MacHall 的时候, 看见法轮功的画展, 昨天 Sharon 跟我说过的. 今天自己亲眼看了, 蛮搞笑的.
大部分都是画练法轮功的教徒怎么不屈怎么坚决怎么纯洁, 怎么面对共产党迫害而面不改容, 怎么脸有荣光怎么被穿肚兜的小天使保护. 画里的公安都穿全黑制服, 一脸灰白, 用各种各样的工具施与酷刑. 可见画家们大都想像力丰富, 或者都练功练 high 了, 患了妄想症.
可能有人看了上面两段, 会觉得我怎么如此歧视法轮功. 人家不是很惨么? 无缘无故的被政府迫害?
即使百种酷刑真有其事, 我也看不起这种扮可怜搏同情的下三滥手段. 法轮功是一个 melting pot, 一味的借用和曲解别的宗教的经卷. 比如一幅佛祖的画, 下面的解释是每个年代都有些下凡来帮助世人的代表, 比如佛祖, 比如耶稣. 如此一塌糊涂, 不知所谓, 妖言惑众的谬论, 只能骗中国大陆里无知的升斗小民. 稍有学识的人, 自然嗤之以鼻. 可悲的是, 大学竟然容许这种 propaganda 在校园里公然展出.
大部分都是画练法轮功的教徒怎么不屈怎么坚决怎么纯洁, 怎么面对共产党迫害而面不改容, 怎么脸有荣光怎么被穿肚兜的小天使保护. 画里的公安都穿全黑制服, 一脸灰白, 用各种各样的工具施与酷刑. 可见画家们大都想像力丰富, 或者都练功练 high 了, 患了妄想症.
可能有人看了上面两段, 会觉得我怎么如此歧视法轮功. 人家不是很惨么? 无缘无故的被政府迫害?
即使百种酷刑真有其事, 我也看不起这种扮可怜搏同情的下三滥手段. 法轮功是一个 melting pot, 一味的借用和曲解别的宗教的经卷. 比如一幅佛祖的画, 下面的解释是每个年代都有些下凡来帮助世人的代表, 比如佛祖, 比如耶稣. 如此一塌糊涂, 不知所谓, 妖言惑众的谬论, 只能骗中国大陆里无知的升斗小民. 稍有学识的人, 自然嗤之以鼻. 可悲的是, 大学竟然容许这种 propaganda 在校园里公然展出.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Acceptable?
Is it acceptable to do everything in my power to try to create opportunities to see her? To run into her?
Or is that just stalking?
Or is that just stalking?
Sooo Pissed Off...
So I worked my ass off last night on the 505 assignment and didn't get home till after 6:30 in the morning.
By the time 10a.m. rolled around I couldn't take it anymore... so I crawled into bed for a nap... without setting my alarms. Thank God though that Luis called at 1p.m. and woke me up. Took a shower, bathroom stuff, left the house around 1:47.
Raced down to campus trying to beat the 2p.m. deadline. Got to the dropbox around then but saw it was pretty much empty when I took a peek. So I panicked. Slide my assignment inside and went upstairs looking for the TA. Ran into her on the way back down and asked if she just picked up the assignments. She said no, because the prof gave a 2-day extension.
There was nothing I could do but laugh.
By the time 10a.m. rolled around I couldn't take it anymore... so I crawled into bed for a nap... without setting my alarms. Thank God though that Luis called at 1p.m. and woke me up. Took a shower, bathroom stuff, left the house around 1:47.
Raced down to campus trying to beat the 2p.m. deadline. Got to the dropbox around then but saw it was pretty much empty when I took a peek. So I panicked. Slide my assignment inside and went upstairs looking for the TA. Ran into her on the way back down and asked if she just picked up the assignments. She said no, because the prof gave a 2-day extension.
There was nothing I could do but laugh.
Almost...
Finally almost finished the ENCM505 assignment. Took an entire weekend. Well, actually might've taken just one day if I didn't have a life.
Man, I'm starving.
A few things I need to print out when I have time:
Man, I'm starving.
A few things I need to print out when I have time:
- Emotion Engine vector unit manual
- ENCM505 powerpoint slides
- Haskell tutorial
- Parsec tutorial
- ENCM519.34 course textbook
- Sneaking suspicion that I forgot something...
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Such a Happy Day...
... that began with a call in the morning...
... and ended with me slaving away in the lab...
... yet I was so happy that, strangely, this assignment didn't seem as tough as it used to.
I might even seem a little foolish right now...
... but dear God, if You'd allow, let me get through to her...
... whether tomorrow or in five years...
... because it's not the wait that bothers me, but the uncertainty...
... and ended with me slaving away in the lab...
... yet I was so happy that, strangely, this assignment didn't seem as tough as it used to.
I might even seem a little foolish right now...
... but dear God, if You'd allow, let me get through to her...
... whether tomorrow or in five years...
... because it's not the wait that bothers me, but the uncertainty...
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Unprecedented
I don't remember ever feeling this way about a girl before. Never so impressed by one.
She's friendly, considerate, hardworking, outgoing, loves children, takes serving God seriously, and most impressive of all, she's all of the above despite how pretty and cute she is.
Simply put, she amazes me.
She's friendly, considerate, hardworking, outgoing, loves children, takes serving God seriously, and most impressive of all, she's all of the above despite how pretty and cute she is.
Simply put, she amazes me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
