Priorities...

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33 KJV

"你們要先求他的國和他的義, 這些東西都要加給你們了." -太 六：33

Rev. Kwan was saying, in Sunday School (sorry, I just can't get used to the "Bible School" moniker... it'll always be Sunday School to me, even on Saturdays...), that Isaac was much more blessed in his marriage than his son Jacob, because he allowed his dad, Abraham, to choose his bride (actually, Abraham entrusted that task to a servant...), who turned out to be Rebekah. Jacob, on the other hand, chose his own wife in Rachel.

Let us compare the two...

Abraham's servant prayed to God, "O LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a girl, 'Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I'll water your camels too'-let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master." (Genesis 24:12-14)

Et voila! "Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor. The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again. The servant hurried to meet her and said, 'Please give me a little water from your jar.' 'Drink, my lord,' she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink. After she had given him a drink, she said, 'I'll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking.' So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful." (Genesis 24:15-21)

Meanwhile, how did Jacob choose Rachel? "Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, 'I'll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.'" (Genesis 29:16-18)

An aside... we already saw the servant's attitude in Rebekah... what can we see in Rachel?

"When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father's household gods... Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country of Gilead when Laban overtook him, and Laban and his relatives camped there too. Then Laban said to Jacob, 'What have you done? You've deceived me, and you've carried off my daughters like captives in war. Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn't you tell me, so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of tambourines and harps? You didn't even let me kiss my grandchildren and my daughters good-by. You have done a foolish thing. I have the power to harm you; but last night the God of your father said to me, "Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad." Now you have gone off because you longed to return to your father's house. But why did you steal my gods?' Jacob answered Laban, 'I was afraid, because I thought you would take your daughters away from me by force. But if you find anyone who has your gods, he shall not live. In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself whether there is anything of yours here with me; and if so, take it.' Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the gods. So Laban went into Jacob's tent and into Leah's tent and into the tent of the two maidservants, but he found nothing. After he came out of Leah's tent, he entered Rachel's tent. Now Rachel had taken the household gods and put them inside her camel's saddle and was sitting on them. Laban searched through everything in the tent but found nothing. Rachel said to her father, 'Don't be angry, my lord, that I cannot stand up in your presence; I'm having my period.' So he searched but could not find the household gods. Jacob was angry and took Laban to task. 'What is my crime?' he asked Laban. 'What sin have I committed that you hunt me down? Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us.'" (Genesis 31:19, 25-37)

So whereas Rebekah was submissive, Rachel was deceitful to both her husband and her father. But hey, hold on, what's this?

"When Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, 'My son.' 'Here I am,' he answered. Isaac said, 'I am now an old man and don't know the day of my death. Now then, get your weapons—your quiver and bow—and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die.' Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to hunt game and bring it back, Rebekah said to her son Jacob, 'Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau, "Bring me some game and prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in the presence of the LORD before I die." Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.' Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, 'But my brother Esau is a hairy man, and I'm a man with smooth skin. What if my father touches me? I would appear to be tricking him and would bring down a curse on myself rather than a blessing.' His mother said to him, 'My son, let the curse fall on me. Just do what I say; go and get them for me.'" (Genesis 27:1-13)

So it looks like Rebekah isn't completely innocent either.

Back to the original trian of thought... so Isaac's marriage was arranged, and representative of feudal society, whereas Jacob chose his own wife, thus more representative of modern society.

What were the consequences?

"Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, 'Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?' 'He is my master,' the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself. Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death." (Genesis 24:62-67)

"When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, 'Give me children, or I'll die!' Jacob became angry with her and said, 'Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?'" (Genesis 30:1-2)

Despite not meeting Rebekah until practically wedding day, Isaac loved her. Jacob's family, however, was a mess - plagued by jealousy and rivalry.

But was it all down to the fact that Jacob chose his own wife? Let us see what Isaac said to him while sending him away...

"So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him and commanded him: 'Do not marry a Canaanite woman. Go at once to Paddan Aram, to the house of your mother's father Bethuel. Take a wife for yourself there, from among the daughters of Laban, your mother's brother. May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples. May he give you and your descendants the blessing given to Abraham, so that you may take possession of the land where you now live as an alien, the land God gave to Abraham.' Then Isaac sent Jacob on his way, and he went to Paddan Aram, to Laban son of Bethuel the Aramean, the brother of Rebekah, who was the mother of Jacob and Esau." (Genesis 28:1-5)

So in reality, Jacob had done all that his father commanded him. Although Isaac and Rebekah never met Leah or Rachel, Jacob had done exactly as his father said: Take a wife from among the daughter's of Laban. Which left him with one simple choice: Leah or Rachel. Was one choice really that much better or worse than the other?

Either way, we know God has the power to use all things, good or bad, to fulfill His ultimate will. Though Jacob's years were "few and difficult" (Genesis 47:9), God's promises to him were fulfilled nevertheless: "I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." (Genesis 28:13-15)

So what, really, is the conclusion here? Are we for or against arranged marriage?

If we really wanted to examine a case where the parents were seriously displeased with a child's disobedience in the matters of marriage, should we not look at Esau instead?

I've been going on and on... and I just realized I don't even know what the original point of this post was...

I think part of it is trying to figure out how involved my parents need to be when it comes to my future marriage... and another part of it is trying to figure out how to actually find the girl I should marry...