WWJD?

Having a major faith crisis.

Missed the first train this morning, and as I was waiting on the platform, a couple of train operators chased a woman off the train that was going out of service for the morning.

She stumbled off the train and sat down on the bench, shivering and fidgeting. Everybody just looked on.

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to ask if she was alright, if she wanted to go inside and stay warm. I wanted to offer her something to eat or drink.

But I just stood there, watching, wondering, like the rest of the world.

The next train came and she scurried on, and I lost sight of her.

The entire way to downtown, I felt awful and couldn't fall asleep. What happened next only made matters worse.

Just as we left City Hall, a coworker of mine left his seat halfway down the car and sat down next to me. Then I heard loud mumblings in the direction from which he came. I asked if somebody was talking to himself. He said some guy on painkillers or something sat down next to him, and he didn't feel like chatting, so he got up and walked away.

I was torn. I didn't know what I could or should do. Was I supposed to get up and go to this man to see if he needed help? Was I supposed to talk to him? Preach to him? Was I supposed to do anything to show my coworker what Christians do in this world? I couldn't. I just sat there looking out my window as though nothing was going on.

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:13-16

By now I was in a full-blown crisis. What kind of Christian am I? How was I remotely different from anyone else? Did I feel compassion for these people? Sure. But how does that mean anything when it doesn't translate into actions? I could blame it on my personality, my upbringing. But is faith not supposed to transform a person? I'm nearly too ashamed to profess my faith anymore.

Does this make me a hypocrite? Am I no better than a Pharisee?

As I got up to get off at my stop, I saw the woman again, curled up in a seat not ten feet from mine. It was the final slap in the face.