Rotten hell, work on a Saturday. Ahh well, at least the problem has been located and solved, so I'll just hang around for a while longer and burn a couple DVD's before I go.
Created a database for my photo albums last night using MSDE 2000 and Web Matrix's SQL capabilities. Much simpler than I anticipated. The front page now opens up a SQL connection, reads the album names, and renders them to HTML. The second database, storing photo information, will take a bit longer to do, however.
Also started on learning some Flash last night, so I can put up a neat little menu bar. Also downloaded three Visual Studio Express Betas (C#, C++, and Web Developer), SQL Server 2005 Express Beta, and .NET Framework 2.0 Redistributable and SDK Betas. The question now is whether I want to try them on my machine or play it safe and install them on a virtual PC.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Friday, February 25, 2005
Album Version 2 - Construction Under Way
Revamped version of my photo album can be found here: Alex in Europe
The new site will utilize some basic ASP.NET 1.1 code. Only the front page has been redone so far, but you should see the header image change every time you reload the page. I tried writing my own user control at first, but it turns out ASP.NET comes with a web control called AdRotator, which reads an XML file storing image URL's. An evening playing with my digital photos and voila! Handfuls of fancy header images appearing in random order.
Enjoy!
The new site will utilize some basic ASP.NET 1.1 code. Only the front page has been redone so far, but you should see the header image change every time you reload the page. I tried writing my own user control at first, but it turns out ASP.NET comes with a web control called AdRotator, which reads an XML file storing image URL's. An evening playing with my digital photos and voila! Handfuls of fancy header images appearing in random order.
Enjoy!
MSDN Technical Briefing
Went to the ASP.NET 2.0 briefing yesterday and saw some pretty nifty stuff. Lots of new controls mainly, plus tons of handy new features in Visual Studio 2005. I will see what I can do to post them here once I receive all the e-docs from Microsoft. In the meantime, check out Betas and more at the Visual Studio 2005 Developer Center. For information on ASP.NET 2.0, check out the ASP.NET Whidbey site.
I'll leave you with two new features to get you all excited about Visual Studio 2005, which comes in many flavours. At its most lightweight, Visual Web Developer 2005 Express Edition is designed purely for ASP.NET 2.0 development, and can be seen as Web Matrix Reincarnated. Or maybe Web Matrix-on-pills. VWD includes all the features Web Matrix omitted, plus a built-in local webserver, which eliminates Visual Studio 2003's requirement of IIS. It also comes with all the handy-dandy tools of the standard Visual Studio 2005 IDE, including a powerful Intellisense.
At the top of the ladder, Visual Studio 2005 Team System is aimed at development teams, with features designed specifically for coordinating team members and testing code. Like David Platt said at the briefing, the days when you could put off testing till the last week before deadlines are over. With VS2005 Team System, even web applications can be tested through recorded requests.
I'll likely download one or two Betas and try them on a virtual PC at home this weekend. Stay tuned for first impressions.
I'll leave you with two new features to get you all excited about Visual Studio 2005, which comes in many flavours. At its most lightweight, Visual Web Developer 2005 Express Edition is designed purely for ASP.NET 2.0 development, and can be seen as Web Matrix Reincarnated. Or maybe Web Matrix-on-pills. VWD includes all the features Web Matrix omitted, plus a built-in local webserver, which eliminates Visual Studio 2003's requirement of IIS. It also comes with all the handy-dandy tools of the standard Visual Studio 2005 IDE, including a powerful Intellisense.
At the top of the ladder, Visual Studio 2005 Team System is aimed at development teams, with features designed specifically for coordinating team members and testing code. Like David Platt said at the briefing, the days when you could put off testing till the last week before deadlines are over. With VS2005 Team System, even web applications can be tested through recorded requests.
I'll likely download one or two Betas and try them on a virtual PC at home this weekend. Stay tuned for first impressions.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
English Setback
Who could've predicted such results for the English sides in the Champions League Round-of-16 first-leg matches over the past two nights?
Arsenal trailed Bayern München by three goals before scoring a vital away goal in the 89th minute, losing by a final score of 3-1. Chelsea opened the scoring at Camp Nou with Belletti's own goal, but then saw Didier Drogba sent off and Barcelona came back to win 2-1. Manchester United perhaps fared the worst amongst English sides, losing 1-0 to Milan at Old Trafford thanks to another blunder from Roy Carroll. At least Arsenal and Chelsea carry an away goal each when they return home for the second leg; United must now travel to San Siro and score one goal more than Milan does.
The big surprise of this week is Liverpool, who were ahead by three before Bayer Leverkusen found a lifeline through Franca in the last seconds. 3-1 is a lot less secure than 3-0, but with Gerrard set to return for the second leg after serving his suspension this match, a single goal at the BayArena in two weeks will force Leverkusen to equal the three Liverpool scored at Anfield. Of course, considering that Leverkusen scored three or more in each European home match they've played this season, Liverpool will have their hands full as they must buck that trend or face elimination.
Back on the topic of United's goalkeeping crisis, Sir Alex Ferguson must be searching for a new keeper this summer. Granted, they have conceded only 16 goals in 27 matches in the Premiership, second only to Chelsea, and have kept cleansheets in 8 of 9 domestic cup games (4 FA Cup, 4 Carling Cup before semi-final replay exit to Chelsea). But the fact remains that neither Howard nor Carroll have shown the ability to inspire confidence in the back four the way Peter Schmeichel did. We need a proven keeper, whether it's a veteran like Edwin van der Sar or Francesco Toldo, or young ones like Iker Casillas, Gianluigi Buffon, Sebastian Frey, Petr Cech, or Timo Hildebrand. All eyes will be on Sir Alex when the transfer window opens again in July.
Arsenal trailed Bayern München by three goals before scoring a vital away goal in the 89th minute, losing by a final score of 3-1. Chelsea opened the scoring at Camp Nou with Belletti's own goal, but then saw Didier Drogba sent off and Barcelona came back to win 2-1. Manchester United perhaps fared the worst amongst English sides, losing 1-0 to Milan at Old Trafford thanks to another blunder from Roy Carroll. At least Arsenal and Chelsea carry an away goal each when they return home for the second leg; United must now travel to San Siro and score one goal more than Milan does.
The big surprise of this week is Liverpool, who were ahead by three before Bayer Leverkusen found a lifeline through Franca in the last seconds. 3-1 is a lot less secure than 3-0, but with Gerrard set to return for the second leg after serving his suspension this match, a single goal at the BayArena in two weeks will force Leverkusen to equal the three Liverpool scored at Anfield. Of course, considering that Leverkusen scored three or more in each European home match they've played this season, Liverpool will have their hands full as they must buck that trend or face elimination.
Back on the topic of United's goalkeeping crisis, Sir Alex Ferguson must be searching for a new keeper this summer. Granted, they have conceded only 16 goals in 27 matches in the Premiership, second only to Chelsea, and have kept cleansheets in 8 of 9 domestic cup games (4 FA Cup, 4 Carling Cup before semi-final replay exit to Chelsea). But the fact remains that neither Howard nor Carroll have shown the ability to inspire confidence in the back four the way Peter Schmeichel did. We need a proven keeper, whether it's a veteran like Edwin van der Sar or Francesco Toldo, or young ones like Iker Casillas, Gianluigi Buffon, Sebastian Frey, Petr Cech, or Timo Hildebrand. All eyes will be on Sir Alex when the transfer window opens again in July.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Eventing Works
Well, it took weeks, but I finally got eventing to work in our project (CoreACSI), using multithreading and semaphores. The bulk of the time was wasted on finding a multithreading library, when in actual fact Sisco's MMS-EASE Lite API came with multithreading capabilities, the documentation of which was neatly tucked away in Appendix E of the 400-page reference manual and took up a dinky 10 pages. In any case, once I found the needle in the haystack it only took about 2 days (which amounts to, what, 5 or 6 hours of actual work?) to implement and test. There remains a lot of work to be done, though, including my report due at the end of this month, which I have not started on.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Shattered Dream
Kudos to Newcastle United for their fantastic 1-0 defeat of Chelsea, shattering Jose Mourinho's dream of a debut-season Quadruple. Mourinho, cocky little snob that he is, failed to learn from Rafa Benitez's failure in the Fourth Round, when Liverpool went out against lowly Championship side (I hate the league name, it's too confusing) Burnley with a one-nil reversal of their own, largely due to the resting of several key players (Steven Gerrard et al). Chelsea were without the services of suspended skipper John Terry, as well as injured forwards Arjen Robben and Didier Drogba, while five more first-team regulars (Petr Cech, Frank Lampard, Damien Duff, Paulo Ferreira, and Eidur Gudjohnsen) started on the bench. Claude Makelele was rested as well ahead of their midweek Champions League first-leg against Barcelona. In their places started Carlo Cudicini, William Gallas, Glen Johnson, Geremi, Jiri Jarosik, Alexei Smertin, Joe Cole, and Mateja Kezman. Not a weak side, I might add, but on this day no match for Newcastle's first-XI. After Patrick Kluivert put Newcastle ahead with a headed goal in the 4th minute, Mourinho sent on Lampard, Duff, and Gudjohnsen at half-time hoping to spark a comeback, only to see his plan backfire as Wayne Bridge was stretchered off with a possible broken ankle minutes after the break, leaving Chelsea with 10 men for the rest of the match, while Gallas and Duff picked up knocks as well. To add insult to injury, Cudicini was sent off in the final minutes, leaving Johnson to stand in as keeper and face one of Laurent Robert's trademark freekicks.
All in all a superb result for both Newcastle and Manchester United. We're all be hoping that Chelsea will be knocked off stride by their first defeat in 16 games. But what is more encouraging for us is the fact that since Robben was injured early in the match aganist Blackburn, the Blues have scored one measly goal in nearly four full matches. Of course, they've only conceded one measly goal over the same duration, but it's much easier for teams to upset the Premiership leaders if they don't have to claw back two or three goals. Having said that, Chelsea's league schedule matches them up against the bottom four sides for the next four games, so Barcelona must produce a dominant display at Camp Nou on Wednesday to really shake Chelsea's self-belief.
Speaking of the Champions League, Man United will entertain Milan at Old Trafford Wednesday night. Milan rested Alessandro Nesta and Kaka for their Serie A match against Cagliari, while Jaap Stam may not get the call to partner Nesta at center-back. More newsflash: Just as I suspected, Andriy Shevchenko will indeed miss the first-leg at the scene of his 2003 Champions League final-winning penalty with a fractured cheekbone suffered this past weekend. This means advantage United in terms of strikers with Ruud van Nistelrooy set to return following his 3-month absence due to an Achilles injury and Wayne Rooney in fine form (6 goals in 8(1) appearances), not to mention Cristiano Ronaldo's own hot streak (5 in 8(1)). The future of United is already shining today.
Looking forward to reporting on United's fortune on Wednesday.
All in all a superb result for both Newcastle and Manchester United. We're all be hoping that Chelsea will be knocked off stride by their first defeat in 16 games. But what is more encouraging for us is the fact that since Robben was injured early in the match aganist Blackburn, the Blues have scored one measly goal in nearly four full matches. Of course, they've only conceded one measly goal over the same duration, but it's much easier for teams to upset the Premiership leaders if they don't have to claw back two or three goals. Having said that, Chelsea's league schedule matches them up against the bottom four sides for the next four games, so Barcelona must produce a dominant display at Camp Nou on Wednesday to really shake Chelsea's self-belief.
Speaking of the Champions League, Man United will entertain Milan at Old Trafford Wednesday night. Milan rested Alessandro Nesta and Kaka for their Serie A match against Cagliari, while Jaap Stam may not get the call to partner Nesta at center-back. More newsflash: Just as I suspected, Andriy Shevchenko will indeed miss the first-leg at the scene of his 2003 Champions League final-winning penalty with a fractured cheekbone suffered this past weekend. This means advantage United in terms of strikers with Ruud van Nistelrooy set to return following his 3-month absence due to an Achilles injury and Wayne Rooney in fine form (6 goals in 8(1) appearances), not to mention Cristiano Ronaldo's own hot streak (5 in 8(1)). The future of United is already shining today.
Looking forward to reporting on United's fortune on Wednesday.
My True Wish?
Fall in Love Again
Words and Music by Mark Schultz
From the recording: Mark Schultz, Track #6.
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya - oh
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya - oh
(repeat)
Each night I sit alone, I
I dial you on the phone
But you're not there.
Oh, are you there?
Can't keep my heart from breakin'
Can't keep my mind from thinkin'
You're not here;
I need you here.
Just because you feel alone
It doesn't mean we're letting go;
I will be with you 'till the very end.
So, don't close your eyes,
Don't say good-bye,
Don't let the tears fall from your eyes.
I can't help but think
About you night and day
Oh, when you stumble,
When you fall
I'll help you make it through it all
Cause when I think of you
I fall in love again.
Can't teach my heart to listen,
Oh, it just keeps on missin'
How it was, the memories of
You right there by my side, oh
Never dreamed of letting go
But now you're gone,
It feels so wrong
Just because you feel alone
It doesn't mean we're letting go;
I will be with you 'til the very end.
So, don't close your eyes
Don't say good-bye
Don't let the tears fall from your eyes
I can't help but think
About you night and day
Oh, when you stumble,
When you fall
I'll help you make it through it all
Cause when I think of you
I fall in love
I believe in faith above,
In giving ever lasting love,
I believe there is a chance for us
Don't close your eyes
Don't say good-bye
Don't let the tears fall from your eyes.
I can't help but think
About you night and day
Oh, when you stumble,
When you fall
I'll help you make it through it all,
Cause when I think of you
I pray for you,
And I fall in love
Again
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya oh
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya oh
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya
Words and Music by Mark Schultz
From the recording: Mark Schultz, Track #6.
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya - oh
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya - oh
(repeat)
Each night I sit alone, I
I dial you on the phone
But you're not there.
Oh, are you there?
Can't keep my heart from breakin'
Can't keep my mind from thinkin'
You're not here;
I need you here.
Just because you feel alone
It doesn't mean we're letting go;
I will be with you 'till the very end.
So, don't close your eyes,
Don't say good-bye,
Don't let the tears fall from your eyes.
I can't help but think
About you night and day
Oh, when you stumble,
When you fall
I'll help you make it through it all
Cause when I think of you
I fall in love again.
Can't teach my heart to listen,
Oh, it just keeps on missin'
How it was, the memories of
You right there by my side, oh
Never dreamed of letting go
But now you're gone,
It feels so wrong
Just because you feel alone
It doesn't mean we're letting go;
I will be with you 'til the very end.
So, don't close your eyes
Don't say good-bye
Don't let the tears fall from your eyes
I can't help but think
About you night and day
Oh, when you stumble,
When you fall
I'll help you make it through it all
Cause when I think of you
I fall in love
I believe in faith above,
In giving ever lasting love,
I believe there is a chance for us
Don't close your eyes
Don't say good-bye
Don't let the tears fall from your eyes.
I can't help but think
About you night and day
Oh, when you stumble,
When you fall
I'll help you make it through it all,
Cause when I think of you
I pray for you,
And I fall in love
Again
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya oh
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya oh
Do do di ya
Do di ya ya ya
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Just Friends
Mystery solved.
Told you guys wishful thinking is dangerous.
You want to be friends again. I don't know if I can do that. I honestly don't know.
It's not because you hurt me in the past. Like I said, if I only felt hatred for you and what you've done, I'd never have responded when you first tried talking to me again. That is exactly what I'm worried about, what other emotions I might feel if we tried to be friends again.
It'd probably be a lot easier if I try to never see you again than to ignore my feelings for you when we hang out. On the other hand, I know your life is a mess right now and you really need a friend. Unfortunately, I don't think I can be that friend you're looking for anyway. It'd be too awkward, too weird. How do I start caring for you just as a friend?
I don't know what I'll do. I want you to be happy, even if I'm not. If being your friend can make you happy, maybe I can try. Maybe. Even at my expense if that's what it takes.
Told you guys wishful thinking is dangerous.
You want to be friends again. I don't know if I can do that. I honestly don't know.
It's not because you hurt me in the past. Like I said, if I only felt hatred for you and what you've done, I'd never have responded when you first tried talking to me again. That is exactly what I'm worried about, what other emotions I might feel if we tried to be friends again.
It'd probably be a lot easier if I try to never see you again than to ignore my feelings for you when we hang out. On the other hand, I know your life is a mess right now and you really need a friend. Unfortunately, I don't think I can be that friend you're looking for anyway. It'd be too awkward, too weird. How do I start caring for you just as a friend?
I don't know what I'll do. I want you to be happy, even if I'm not. If being your friend can make you happy, maybe I can try. Maybe. Even at my expense if that's what it takes.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Mid-February Music Review
The Time of My Life - Mark Schultz: Another touching piece of art from Mark, once again telling a tearjerker of a true story through the power of music. A rare gem that meshes human emotions with spiritual experience, depicting two sides of the Christian love. It seems that we've been educated in church to think that the love between a man and a woman takes a back seat to one's relationship with God. While it is true that God should be our foremost priority in life, we could perhaps consider the fact that love for Eve was the second bond Adam felt. It's a shame that we seem to think that God-centered relationships cannot be as romantic or earthshattering or expressive, that it must be subtle and hidden. Or is that just the conservative Chinese church?
We Might As Well Be Strangers - Keane: I was first introduced to the British group Keane by my friend Sandy in Cardiff. I first listened to "Can't Stop Now", an energetic rock tune that really exposed vocalist Tom Chaplin's poor breathing technique, resulting in heavy and noisy breaths; it's not a bad song, but I got tired of listening to him hyperventilating and sucking all the air out of my room. I like "We Might As Well Be Strangers" for its lyrics, and the softer, more melancholic style means Tom's breathing problems are not as obvious, though they are still present in the louder chorus portion.
Me & You - Brian McKnight: Brian returns to his Christian roots with this last song of his new album, Gemini, and it stands out from the rest of the songs, which mainly convey ideas of sex and lust. A tribute to The Passion of The Christ, "Me & You" is a nice variation from your usual Christian songs. Delivers the powerful message of the Gospel, that "He died for me & you", with another outstanding vocal performance, backed by an equally impressive group of harmonizers (or is that Brian too? You never know these days). Surely one for the Easter collection.
禱告良辰歌 - 陶喆: A softer, quieter, meditative piece performed by David this time around, after his 9/11-inspired "Dear God". I say "performed by" because he didn't write it; "Sweet Hour of Prayer" was written by William W. Walford and its tune composed by William Batchelder Bradbury in 1861, later to be translated into 禱告之時 (聖徒詩歌552首). Nevertheless, it is pleasing to see this song in David's latest album 太平盛世, a sign of a brother using his power of influence in a positive, Christian way. (P.S. David has his own blog on his official website.)
We Might As Well Be Strangers - Keane: I was first introduced to the British group Keane by my friend Sandy in Cardiff. I first listened to "Can't Stop Now", an energetic rock tune that really exposed vocalist Tom Chaplin's poor breathing technique, resulting in heavy and noisy breaths; it's not a bad song, but I got tired of listening to him hyperventilating and sucking all the air out of my room. I like "We Might As Well Be Strangers" for its lyrics, and the softer, more melancholic style means Tom's breathing problems are not as obvious, though they are still present in the louder chorus portion.
Me & You - Brian McKnight: Brian returns to his Christian roots with this last song of his new album, Gemini, and it stands out from the rest of the songs, which mainly convey ideas of sex and lust. A tribute to The Passion of The Christ, "Me & You" is a nice variation from your usual Christian songs. Delivers the powerful message of the Gospel, that "He died for me & you", with another outstanding vocal performance, backed by an equally impressive group of harmonizers (or is that Brian too? You never know these days). Surely one for the Easter collection.
禱告良辰歌 - 陶喆: A softer, quieter, meditative piece performed by David this time around, after his 9/11-inspired "Dear God". I say "performed by" because he didn't write it; "Sweet Hour of Prayer" was written by William W. Walford and its tune composed by William Batchelder Bradbury in 1861, later to be translated into 禱告之時 (聖徒詩歌552首). Nevertheless, it is pleasing to see this song in David's latest album 太平盛世, a sign of a brother using his power of influence in a positive, Christian way. (P.S. David has his own blog on his official website.)
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
"how're you alex?"
"What the hell was that?" - Last night
"What the hell was that?" - This morning
---
"How are you?"
How do you answer a seemingly innocent question like that?
Well that depends... is the question merely a polite greeting? Or is it a sincere probe into my well-being?
I could answer equally politely and carry on a casual, if insincere, conversation. Or I could pour out my deepest emotions and give you a glimpse of what I'm going through.
Last night, I chose the former.
I tried to be pretentious. I wonder if I fooled you.
---
"How are you, Alex?"
It's interesting how a seemingly innocent question like that can catch you completely off-guard.
Of course, it's not the question itself, but rather the circumstances and the context that add the surprise element to the question.
The question is, after all, commonly seen in everyday conversations between all kinds of people.
The reason that the question took me by surprise is this: it broke a 12-week silence that I wasn't expecting to end at 12 weeks.
---
"how're you alex?"
It is intriguing how a seemingly innocent question can veil so many different possible meanings.
Is it one of Concern? Curiosity? Interest maybe? Or perhaps Guilt?
Personally, I'm leaning towards Pity. As in, "I'm living a full and happy life, how about you? Still stuck in a rut?"
---
"How am I?"
I talked to a friend about what happened last night. She suggested the entire incident could be no accident; it might have been "planned". I laughed at the notion and said she was reading too much into it. That sort of wishful thinking is too dangeous.
Yet, deep in my heart, I know I can't suppress my desires and hopes forever. One seemingly innocent question has given me unjustified hope again. I hate it. With hope comes disappointment. I wish the question was never asked.
"What the hell was that?" - This morning
---
"How are you?"
How do you answer a seemingly innocent question like that?
Well that depends... is the question merely a polite greeting? Or is it a sincere probe into my well-being?
I could answer equally politely and carry on a casual, if insincere, conversation. Or I could pour out my deepest emotions and give you a glimpse of what I'm going through.
Last night, I chose the former.
I tried to be pretentious. I wonder if I fooled you.
---
"How are you, Alex?"
It's interesting how a seemingly innocent question like that can catch you completely off-guard.
Of course, it's not the question itself, but rather the circumstances and the context that add the surprise element to the question.
The question is, after all, commonly seen in everyday conversations between all kinds of people.
The reason that the question took me by surprise is this: it broke a 12-week silence that I wasn't expecting to end at 12 weeks.
---
"how're you alex?"
It is intriguing how a seemingly innocent question can veil so many different possible meanings.
Is it one of Concern? Curiosity? Interest maybe? Or perhaps Guilt?
Personally, I'm leaning towards Pity. As in, "I'm living a full and happy life, how about you? Still stuck in a rut?"
---
"How am I?"
I talked to a friend about what happened last night. She suggested the entire incident could be no accident; it might have been "planned". I laughed at the notion and said she was reading too much into it. That sort of wishful thinking is too dangeous.
Yet, deep in my heart, I know I can't suppress my desires and hopes forever. One seemingly innocent question has given me unjustified hope again. I hate it. With hope comes disappointment. I wish the question was never asked.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Happy Valentine's Day
Twelve full weeks from the day I was dumped.
I still don't know for sure how I feel. There are days when I feel a little stronger, like I can carry on with life. Then there are days when I wish you were still by my side. Other days I wish we had never started a relationship.
Everyone tells me to forget everything, to let go, to get over you, to move on. I hate this. What's so bad about lingering? What's so bad about dwelling on the past? They're right, I know. Whether you're better or worse off without me shouldn't matter anymore. But what's wrong with longing for something that was so rudely taken away from me? What's wrong with wondering whether you still think about me? I don't expect you to have a sudden change of heart when I come home; that sort of wishful thinking would only build me up to be crushed again. But what's wrong with trying to find out what you think and feel? I know my friends want to save me from further pain, but I have so much of it already, a little more can't make much of a difference.
To my friends who are happily in love right now, cherish every moment. To my single and available friends, spend this day with people you care about, like your family or other lonely friends. To all, a happy Valentine's Day.
I still don't know for sure how I feel. There are days when I feel a little stronger, like I can carry on with life. Then there are days when I wish you were still by my side. Other days I wish we had never started a relationship.
Everyone tells me to forget everything, to let go, to get over you, to move on. I hate this. What's so bad about lingering? What's so bad about dwelling on the past? They're right, I know. Whether you're better or worse off without me shouldn't matter anymore. But what's wrong with longing for something that was so rudely taken away from me? What's wrong with wondering whether you still think about me? I don't expect you to have a sudden change of heart when I come home; that sort of wishful thinking would only build me up to be crushed again. But what's wrong with trying to find out what you think and feel? I know my friends want to save me from further pain, but I have so much of it already, a little more can't make much of a difference.
To my friends who are happily in love right now, cherish every moment. To my single and available friends, spend this day with people you care about, like your family or other lonely friends. To all, a happy Valentine's Day.
Friday, February 11, 2005
A Game of Chance?
Some of the documentaries I saw this week dealt with Quantum Mechanics, the probabilities involved at the subatomic level, and the shocking possibility of unlimited Parallel Universes.
This quantum uncertainty leads to the theory that everything that could happen (i.e. has a definite probability of happening) does happen. For example, if an event E can either happen or not happen (i.e. there is a certain probability P(E) = p of it happening, and a certain probability P'(E) = 1-p of it not happening), then it will both happen and not happen. This seemingly impossible situation is explained by the existence of Parallel Universes; that is to say, there is one universe where event E does happen, and another where event E does not. Counting up all possible probabilities results in a practically unlimited number of Parallel Universes, many of which you and I do not even exist in. But what is more mind-boggling is the notion that you and I could be existing in a similarly countless number of other universes.
It is of course possible to explain this apparent randomness with (pre)determinism. One may examine the roll of an ordinary die of six faces, each of which, logically to us, has the probability of 1/6 of facing upward on any given roll. But is this really true? Is the result really probabilistic? Or is it predetermined from the moment the die leaves your fingers? If we have a sufficiently fast mechanism for measuring the instantaneous velocity (linear and angular) of the die travelling through the air, could we not calculate the exact location of where it will land and at what angle, as well as the subsequent rebounding motion and finally where and how it comes to rest? Therefore, I think it is safe to say that the roll of a die appears random to our limited minds, because our minds lack the computational power to calculate, in the second or two between the toss of the die to its coming to rest, the result predetermined by the original throw and the surface the die comes into contact with.
This leads me to thinking about predeterminism in Christian theology. It has long bothered many people, Christians and non-Christians alike, to believe that God has predetermined the history of the Earth from beginning to end. Where does freewill come from then, if everything is predetermined? Dr. William Lane Craig presents this case: Suppose God foreknows at time t1 that Alex shall do X at time t2, where t1 is earlier than t2. In order for freewill to hold, Alex must have the power to not do X. Dr. Craig's argument goes, if Alex indeed does not do X at t2, God would have foreknown at t1. This does not mean that Alex has the ability to change what God knew at t1 by what he does at t2; rather, whatever Alex does at t2 merely asserts the "counterfactuals".
I have not taken courses in philosophy, but what Counterfactual Theories of Causation appear to say is as follows: "Event a caused event b," so in terms of counterfacuals, "If a had not occurred, b would not have occurred". In other words then, "If b occurred, a must have occurred". This means that whatever Alex does at t2, God must have always foreknown accordingly.
Predeterminism remains a tricky concept in Christian theology. What I presented above are merely the musings of a sleepless night and should not be taken as a thorough examination or a well thought-out argument.
This quantum uncertainty leads to the theory that everything that could happen (i.e. has a definite probability of happening) does happen. For example, if an event E can either happen or not happen (i.e. there is a certain probability P(E) = p of it happening, and a certain probability P'(E) = 1-p of it not happening), then it will both happen and not happen. This seemingly impossible situation is explained by the existence of Parallel Universes; that is to say, there is one universe where event E does happen, and another where event E does not. Counting up all possible probabilities results in a practically unlimited number of Parallel Universes, many of which you and I do not even exist in. But what is more mind-boggling is the notion that you and I could be existing in a similarly countless number of other universes.
It is of course possible to explain this apparent randomness with (pre)determinism. One may examine the roll of an ordinary die of six faces, each of which, logically to us, has the probability of 1/6 of facing upward on any given roll. But is this really true? Is the result really probabilistic? Or is it predetermined from the moment the die leaves your fingers? If we have a sufficiently fast mechanism for measuring the instantaneous velocity (linear and angular) of the die travelling through the air, could we not calculate the exact location of where it will land and at what angle, as well as the subsequent rebounding motion and finally where and how it comes to rest? Therefore, I think it is safe to say that the roll of a die appears random to our limited minds, because our minds lack the computational power to calculate, in the second or two between the toss of the die to its coming to rest, the result predetermined by the original throw and the surface the die comes into contact with.
This leads me to thinking about predeterminism in Christian theology. It has long bothered many people, Christians and non-Christians alike, to believe that God has predetermined the history of the Earth from beginning to end. Where does freewill come from then, if everything is predetermined? Dr. William Lane Craig presents this case: Suppose God foreknows at time t1 that Alex shall do X at time t2, where t1 is earlier than t2. In order for freewill to hold, Alex must have the power to not do X. Dr. Craig's argument goes, if Alex indeed does not do X at t2, God would have foreknown at t1. This does not mean that Alex has the ability to change what God knew at t1 by what he does at t2; rather, whatever Alex does at t2 merely asserts the "counterfactuals".
I have not taken courses in philosophy, but what Counterfactual Theories of Causation appear to say is as follows: "Event a caused event b," so in terms of counterfacuals, "If a had not occurred, b would not have occurred". In other words then, "If b occurred, a must have occurred". This means that whatever Alex does at t2, God must have always foreknown accordingly.
Predeterminism remains a tricky concept in Christian theology. What I presented above are merely the musings of a sleepless night and should not be taken as a thorough examination or a well thought-out argument.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Extraterrestrials
Having just finished the four-part documentary, The Expanding Universe (World Almanac Video, 1999), the question of whether extraterrestrial lifeforms exist outside our planet's atmosphere lingers. It's not just a matter of primitive vs. intelligent lifeforms, but also how such existence affects my religious beliefs, my theology.
The discovery of fossilized bacteria in meteorites originating from Mars has renewed interest in the search of living micro-organisms on the red planet. But more importantly it presents strong evidence for the existence of other organisms, intelligent or otherwise, elsewhere in this vast universe. Of interest to me is not whether this is true, but rather how it might affect my beliefs in case it is.
If the universe is indeed littered with countless different species of micro-organisms, how does this fit into my creationist view? Can it be incorporated? Can we still claim that God created all things in heaven and earth, including all exotic lifeforms throughout the universe? Or can this only be explained by evolution? Furthermore, if there are indeed intelligent space aliens out there, how do they fit into the grand scheme of things? Were they also created by God? If so, where do they stand in the Biblical big picture?
On the other hand, suppose the universe is indeed ruled only by probability. Evolutionists argue that, despite the terrible odds against life starting in a swamp by a stroke of lightning, enough time had passed to make it a realistic possibility. By the same token, astronomers would insist that the sheer immensity of the universe determines that there is a realistic possibility of intelligent life flourishing somewhere else, probably with more advanced technology than us. The question is then, why haven't we seen signs of such alien lifeforms? Why haven't they made contact if they have such superior technology? Of course, many are convinced that they have. Others might argue that the vast intergalactic distances would mean that any alien spaceships would take years to travel from one galaxy to another, and with there being so many galaxies in the universe, and so many stars in any given galaxy, they may never come across our unspectacular planet. This should not be taken as a sign that alien lifeforms do not exist.
The lack of radio signals that might indicate intelligence from outer space should not be perceived as a decision argument against extraterrestrials either. As our own Milky Way is some 100 000 light-years in diameter, a radio signal travelling from one edge through the nucleus would take 100 000 years to arrive on the opposite edge. A lot can happen within 100 000 years, including the birth and death of whole civilizations and species. The closest neighbouring major galaxy, Andromeda (M31), is 2.2 million light-years away. That means whatever radio signals we may receive from Andromeda is only indicative of whatever happened 2.2 million years ago. Is this alien-chasing not a futile exercise?
Anyway, just a jumble of thoughts after too much documentary-watching. I'll post more thoughts regarding time travel and parallel universes later.
The discovery of fossilized bacteria in meteorites originating from Mars has renewed interest in the search of living micro-organisms on the red planet. But more importantly it presents strong evidence for the existence of other organisms, intelligent or otherwise, elsewhere in this vast universe. Of interest to me is not whether this is true, but rather how it might affect my beliefs in case it is.
If the universe is indeed littered with countless different species of micro-organisms, how does this fit into my creationist view? Can it be incorporated? Can we still claim that God created all things in heaven and earth, including all exotic lifeforms throughout the universe? Or can this only be explained by evolution? Furthermore, if there are indeed intelligent space aliens out there, how do they fit into the grand scheme of things? Were they also created by God? If so, where do they stand in the Biblical big picture?
On the other hand, suppose the universe is indeed ruled only by probability. Evolutionists argue that, despite the terrible odds against life starting in a swamp by a stroke of lightning, enough time had passed to make it a realistic possibility. By the same token, astronomers would insist that the sheer immensity of the universe determines that there is a realistic possibility of intelligent life flourishing somewhere else, probably with more advanced technology than us. The question is then, why haven't we seen signs of such alien lifeforms? Why haven't they made contact if they have such superior technology? Of course, many are convinced that they have. Others might argue that the vast intergalactic distances would mean that any alien spaceships would take years to travel from one galaxy to another, and with there being so many galaxies in the universe, and so many stars in any given galaxy, they may never come across our unspectacular planet. This should not be taken as a sign that alien lifeforms do not exist.
The lack of radio signals that might indicate intelligence from outer space should not be perceived as a decision argument against extraterrestrials either. As our own Milky Way is some 100 000 light-years in diameter, a radio signal travelling from one edge through the nucleus would take 100 000 years to arrive on the opposite edge. A lot can happen within 100 000 years, including the birth and death of whole civilizations and species. The closest neighbouring major galaxy, Andromeda (M31), is 2.2 million light-years away. That means whatever radio signals we may receive from Andromeda is only indicative of whatever happened 2.2 million years ago. Is this alien-chasing not a futile exercise?
Anyway, just a jumble of thoughts after too much documentary-watching. I'll post more thoughts regarding time travel and parallel universes later.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
ASP.NET - Final Solution
Thanks to Dane Bertram for reminding me to have another look at ASP.NET Web Matrix. Despite lacking many of the features offered by Visual Studio, it turns out to be quite enough for doing the labs on Fritz Onion's webcasts. Here are a couple of things that Web Matrix does not do very well or at all:
Code-behind
Referencing assemblies
Intellisense
Code completion
On the plus side, Web Matrix is small (1.3MB download), easy to use, comes with a Cassini-like local webserver, and is absolutely free. It also has database functionalities, which I have not had the time to explore yet.
So in the meantime, I will be using Web Matrix for learning ASP.NET 1.1. By the way, I've heard rumours that there won't be a new version of Web Matrix to support ASP.NET 2.0. I'm fine with that, though, since I should be home with my Windows XP Pro machine by the time I'm ready to make the jump to .NET Framework 2.0.
Code-behind
Referencing assemblies
Intellisense
Code completion
On the plus side, Web Matrix is small (1.3MB download), easy to use, comes with a Cassini-like local webserver, and is absolutely free. It also has database functionalities, which I have not had the time to explore yet.
So in the meantime, I will be using Web Matrix for learning ASP.NET 1.1. By the way, I've heard rumours that there won't be a new version of Web Matrix to support ASP.NET 2.0. I'm fine with that, though, since I should be home with my Windows XP Pro machine by the time I'm ready to make the jump to .NET Framework 2.0.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Smacked On The Head
A good friend of mine lectured me last night, and I thank her for that. I don't know what I was hoping for. So what if she was living better or worse without me? What do I stand to gain with that knowledge?
You know, I was emotionally numb for a while, maybe a long time. I'm starting to recognize how I feel now. I'm bitter. I'm hateful. I've got fists clenched up so tight my knuckles are white. I've got so much rage pent-up right now I swear one minute nuisance will set me off into an uncontrollable rampage.
Maybe 30 years from now I can look back at this with fond memories. Maybe God's love can still make us brothers and sisters. But we'll never be friends again.
You know, I was emotionally numb for a while, maybe a long time. I'm starting to recognize how I feel now. I'm bitter. I'm hateful. I've got fists clenched up so tight my knuckles are white. I've got so much rage pent-up right now I swear one minute nuisance will set me off into an uncontrollable rampage.
Maybe 30 years from now I can look back at this with fond memories. Maybe God's love can still make us brothers and sisters. But we'll never be friends again.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
ReGenesis - Support Canadian Programming
To sum up how much I loved ReGenesis, let me tell you that I finished all 13 one-hour episodes in two days this weekend. That's a total of nearly 600 minutes in actual play-time. This fast-paced high-tech thriller combines an absorbing plot with brilliant screenplay, ranking right up there with E.R. You can also check out the blog of Mayko Tran, a character in the show; though I would suggest reading it as you watch each episode, as it will give away the plot. I will be burning all 13 episodes in HDTV onto DVD as soon as I get my hands on some blanks.
Here is another link related to this show. Please do not be alarmed; this is a fictional page.
Here is another link related to this show. Please do not be alarmed; this is a fictional page.
ASP.NET - Alternative Solutions
ASP.NET has specific requirements regarding operating system and web servers; namely, it runs only Microsoft's own IIS (Internet Information Server), which is not available on Windows XP Home. Since my Compaq laptop comes only with XP Home, and not willing to risk getting busted with an illegal copy of XP Professional, I've spent the last few months looking for an alternative to IIS.
For a while, I did my ASP.NET development on an XP Pro virtual machine running on top of my XP Home using VMWare Workstation. This was fine for writing simple web apps for the sake of learning, but serving a full website on a virtual machine was never going to be feasible.
So I looked elsewhere, perhaps a webserver software that had ASP.NET capabilities. Since XP Home does not have IIS, I had to use third-party software anyway. I decided to use Apache 2.0.52 for serving regular HTML, while giving Mono and their XSP webserver a shot. When I tried starting nGallery on XSP, however, the server appeared to be buggy and unstable.
More recently, the Apache CLI Project has come out with the mod_aspdotnet module for their Apache server. I'm currently running this module, which at the moment only supports .NET Framework 1.1. It appears to run ASP.NET web apps without problems; installation and configuration are not the most straightforward, but it's a price you pay for highly configurable software.
The only remaining obstacle is Visual Studio's inability to create web app projects due to XP Home's lack of IIS. At this time I can write individual ASP.NET pages but not an entire project in Visual Studio. Will need some sort of workaround for this.
For a while, I did my ASP.NET development on an XP Pro virtual machine running on top of my XP Home using VMWare Workstation. This was fine for writing simple web apps for the sake of learning, but serving a full website on a virtual machine was never going to be feasible.
So I looked elsewhere, perhaps a webserver software that had ASP.NET capabilities. Since XP Home does not have IIS, I had to use third-party software anyway. I decided to use Apache 2.0.52 for serving regular HTML, while giving Mono and their XSP webserver a shot. When I tried starting nGallery on XSP, however, the server appeared to be buggy and unstable.
More recently, the Apache CLI Project has come out with the mod_aspdotnet module for their Apache server. I'm currently running this module, which at the moment only supports .NET Framework 1.1. It appears to run ASP.NET web apps without problems; installation and configuration are not the most straightforward, but it's a price you pay for highly configurable software.
The only remaining obstacle is Visual Studio's inability to create web app projects due to XP Home's lack of IIS. At this time I can write individual ASP.NET pages but not an entire project in Visual Studio. Will need some sort of workaround for this.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
The Meaning of Lost
Without quoting straight from a dictionary, which I know most of you know I like to do, let's examine some of the different meanings of the English word "lost".
1. Unable to find one's way.
2. Defeated.
3. Unable to find, or no longer possessing, someone or something.
Isn't it amazing how one word can just about sum up one's life?
1. Unable to find one's way.
2. Defeated.
3. Unable to find, or no longer possessing, someone or something.
Isn't it amazing how one word can just about sum up one's life?
Friday, February 04, 2005
United's Bright Future?
We all know the era of the Treble-winning United side is over; the squad from merely 5 1/2 years ago has been almost completely overhauled. Peter Schmeichel, Jaap Stam, Ronny Johnsen, Denis Irwin, David Beckham, Nicky Butt, Andy Cole, Dwight Yorke, and Teddy Sheringham have all moved on. In their places, numerous replacements have failed to measure up: Mark Bosnich, Massimo Taibi, Fabien Barthez, Laurent Blanc, Quinton Fortune, Juan-Sebastian Veron, Kleberson, Eric Djemba-Djemba, David Bellion, Diego Forlan, and countless youth team graduates. It's unfortunate that our brightest stars at the moment are either left-over from '99 (Roy Keane, Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Gary Neville) or purchased at enormous sums (Rio Ferdinand, Gabriel Heinze, Cristiano Ronaldo, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Wayne Rooney, Alan Smith, Louis Saha). Where have the home-grown players gone? Granted, John O'Shea and Darren Fletcher have firmly established themselves - O'Shea especially so with two beautiful strikes in the last two matches - while Kieran Richardson and Jonathan Spector look to be on the cusp of regular first-team football. But where have the youth players gone? Names like Luke Chadwick, Michael Stewart, Bojan Djordjic, David Healy, Jonathan Greening, Danny Higginbotham, Danny Pugh, Danny Webber, etc. used to give us optimism for the future. Will we ever see another generation like the Class of '92?
Having seen last Saturday's FA Cup tie with Middlesbrough, however, I am convinced Rooney and C.Ronaldo will inspire us to further glory in the next decade. Rooney, of course, shone brightest in the second half with an exquisite Veron-esque chip from 30-odd yards out and a breathtaking 20-yard dipping volley. Ronaldo, meanwhile, was less frequent with his stepovers, but switched flanks with Giggs often and highlighted his performance with close control leading up to O'Shea's opener and a cheeky no-look pass, Ronaldinho-style, before coming off shortly after the hour. There is seemingly no end to his wizardry, having wow'ed the crowd with a Zidane pirouette a week ago.
O'Shea showed incredible composure putting away the first goal from ten yards, and displayed nimble footwork in midfield, running forward effectively to support Rooney up front. Ferdinand nearly gifted Boro an equalizer before halftime when his back pass to Gary Neville was picked out by Zenden, who played the one-two with Hasselbaink but had his shot tipped away by a sprawling Carroll. Had Boro grabbed an equalizer, it would've been a much different story.
Down Middlesbrough's left, teenager Stewart Downing, tipped for England's problematic left-wing position, showed good close control but never really troubled Gary Neville, who capped his own solid performance providing the splitting pass for Rooney's first. Downing still needs to improve his delivery from set-pieces, however. Boro never caused the United defence any problems from corners and free-kicks.
Finally, kudos to Phil Neville for his pre-match studying as well as his dedication to the cause. Anticipating Hasselbaink's intentions on a 30-yard free-kick, he threw himself forward as Zenden teed the ball up for Hasselbaink, and took the thunderous drive full-force on his inner thigh. Let's hope he's rewarded for his sacrifice.
Having seen last Saturday's FA Cup tie with Middlesbrough, however, I am convinced Rooney and C.Ronaldo will inspire us to further glory in the next decade. Rooney, of course, shone brightest in the second half with an exquisite Veron-esque chip from 30-odd yards out and a breathtaking 20-yard dipping volley. Ronaldo, meanwhile, was less frequent with his stepovers, but switched flanks with Giggs often and highlighted his performance with close control leading up to O'Shea's opener and a cheeky no-look pass, Ronaldinho-style, before coming off shortly after the hour. There is seemingly no end to his wizardry, having wow'ed the crowd with a Zidane pirouette a week ago.
O'Shea showed incredible composure putting away the first goal from ten yards, and displayed nimble footwork in midfield, running forward effectively to support Rooney up front. Ferdinand nearly gifted Boro an equalizer before halftime when his back pass to Gary Neville was picked out by Zenden, who played the one-two with Hasselbaink but had his shot tipped away by a sprawling Carroll. Had Boro grabbed an equalizer, it would've been a much different story.
Down Middlesbrough's left, teenager Stewart Downing, tipped for England's problematic left-wing position, showed good close control but never really troubled Gary Neville, who capped his own solid performance providing the splitting pass for Rooney's first. Downing still needs to improve his delivery from set-pieces, however. Boro never caused the United defence any problems from corners and free-kicks.
Finally, kudos to Phil Neville for his pre-match studying as well as his dedication to the cause. Anticipating Hasselbaink's intentions on a 30-yard free-kick, he threw himself forward as Zenden teed the ball up for Hasselbaink, and took the thunderous drive full-force on his inner thigh. Let's hope he's rewarded for his sacrifice.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Xnews - Resource Hog
Unfortunately I have not yet been able to download last Saturday's FA Cup match between Man United and Middlesbrough, thanks to Xnews's inefficiency when dealing with massive numbers of headers. Apparently any operation in a newsgroup where an excessive number of headers have been downloaded would result in endless page faults and continual memory swapping. I'm still in the process of discarding useless headers, but I can't even guarantee I'll get the actual downloads started tonight.
Preview of tomorrow's Blog entry: A Digital God?
Preview of tomorrow's Blog entry: A Digital God?
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Arsenal 2-4 Manchester United
Bravo! Bravo to the lads for thrashing out a sensational away victory at Highbury, despite having Mikael Silvestre sent off with 20 minutes to go. To have done the double over these bitter rivals as well as knocking them out of the Carling Cup gives us the consolation we've been seeking. Chelsea visit Blackburn tonight, with the opportunity to go 11 points clear, the same lead that Arsenal at one time (October) held over United. To say that the 2-0 win at Old Trafford on October 24 - the one that ended Arse's unbeaten streak at 49 league matches - derailed Arsenal's season is a massive understatement. Since that loss in Manchester, they have gone 7 wins, 5 draws, and 3 losses in the league for 26 points in 15 matches, dropping 19 points in the process. United, by comparison, have gone 11-3-1 for 36 points in 15. With 13 matches left on the league schedule, who's to say that the 11-point gap cannot be closed between United and Chelsea? It would require Chelsea to drop a few points (hopefully starting with tonight's fixture), but still alive on all four fronts with 18 matches already scheduled between now and May 14, and possibly more depending on their progress in the FA Cup and the Champions League, a dip in form remains likely. Jose Mourinho tends to stay with the same first-XI match-in, match-out, meaning that the deeper they get in cup competitions, the higher the risks of burnouts to his top players. On the other hand, a first-round knockout by Barcelona or an FA Cup upset at Newcastle might also do the trick, the same way the night of Pizzagate sent Arsenal on a journey of self-doubt. And with Chelsea slated to play United and Arsenal in a span of five days mid-April, we could see yet another late run at the Premiership crowd by United.
Enough on the league front; let's turn the clock back to the weekend FA Cup clash between United and Middlesbrough. Steve McClaren's side currently sit 6th in the Premiership, but they were thoroughly outclassed Saturday by Wayne Rooney, who celebrated his 19th birthday back in October with a goal against Arsenal. I will be downloading the match video tonight, and I cannot wait to see what the Soccernet coined "The Wonder of Roo". Two sublime goals from Rooney on top of John O'Shea's opener helped United through to the next round date with Everton, Rooney's former club, on February 19. I will report further when I've seen Rooney's goals with my own eyes. In the meantime, good luck to Blackburn tonight; they will need it against Chelsea, especially without skipper Barry Ferguson, who had his request granted and has returned to the Rangers.
Enough on the league front; let's turn the clock back to the weekend FA Cup clash between United and Middlesbrough. Steve McClaren's side currently sit 6th in the Premiership, but they were thoroughly outclassed Saturday by Wayne Rooney, who celebrated his 19th birthday back in October with a goal against Arsenal. I will be downloading the match video tonight, and I cannot wait to see what the Soccernet coined "The Wonder of Roo". Two sublime goals from Rooney on top of John O'Shea's opener helped United through to the next round date with Everton, Rooney's former club, on February 19. I will report further when I've seen Rooney's goals with my own eyes. In the meantime, good luck to Blackburn tonight; they will need it against Chelsea, especially without skipper Barry Ferguson, who had his request granted and has returned to the Rangers.
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