"how're you alex?"

"What the hell was that?" - Last night
"What the hell was that?" - This morning
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"How are you?"

How do you answer a seemingly innocent question like that?

Well that depends... is the question merely a polite greeting? Or is it a sincere probe into my well-being?

I could answer equally politely and carry on a casual, if insincere, conversation. Or I could pour out my deepest emotions and give you a glimpse of what I'm going through.

Last night, I chose the former.

I tried to be pretentious. I wonder if I fooled you.
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"How are you, Alex?"

It's interesting how a seemingly innocent question like that can catch you completely off-guard.

Of course, it's not the question itself, but rather the circumstances and the context that add the surprise element to the question.

The question is, after all, commonly seen in everyday conversations between all kinds of people.

The reason that the question took me by surprise is this: it broke a 12-week silence that I wasn't expecting to end at 12 weeks.
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"how're you alex?"

It is intriguing how a seemingly innocent question can veil so many different possible meanings.

Is it one of Concern? Curiosity? Interest maybe? Or perhaps Guilt?

Personally, I'm leaning towards Pity. As in, "I'm living a full and happy life, how about you? Still stuck in a rut?"
---
"How am I?"

I talked to a friend about what happened last night. She suggested the entire incident could be no accident; it might have been "planned". I laughed at the notion and said she was reading too much into it. That sort of wishful thinking is too dangeous.

Yet, deep in my heart, I know I can't suppress my desires and hopes forever. One seemingly innocent question has given me unjustified hope again. I hate it. With hope comes disappointment. I wish the question was never asked.