Happy Valentine's Day

Twelve full weeks from the day I was dumped.

I still don't know for sure how I feel. There are days when I feel a little stronger, like I can carry on with life. Then there are days when I wish you were still by my side. Other days I wish we had never started a relationship.

Everyone tells me to forget everything, to let go, to get over you, to move on. I hate this. What's so bad about lingering? What's so bad about dwelling on the past? They're right, I know. Whether you're better or worse off without me shouldn't matter anymore. But what's wrong with longing for something that was so rudely taken away from me? What's wrong with wondering whether you still think about me? I don't expect you to have a sudden change of heart when I come home; that sort of wishful thinking would only build me up to be crushed again. But what's wrong with trying to find out what you think and feel? I know my friends want to save me from further pain, but I have so much of it already, a little more can't make much of a difference.

To my friends who are happily in love right now, cherish every moment. To my single and available friends, spend this day with people you care about, like your family or other lonely friends. To all, a happy Valentine's Day.