Mystery solved.
Told you guys wishful thinking is dangerous.
You want to be friends again. I don't know if I can do that. I honestly don't know.
It's not because you hurt me in the past. Like I said, if I only felt hatred for you and what you've done, I'd never have responded when you first tried talking to me again. That is exactly what I'm worried about, what other emotions I might feel if we tried to be friends again.
It'd probably be a lot easier if I try to never see you again than to ignore my feelings for you when we hang out. On the other hand, I know your life is a mess right now and you really need a friend. Unfortunately, I don't think I can be that friend you're looking for anyway. It'd be too awkward, too weird. How do I start caring for you just as a friend?
I don't know what I'll do. I want you to be happy, even if I'm not. If being your friend can make you happy, maybe I can try. Maybe. Even at my expense if that's what it takes.
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