Something I Heard on the Radio

You'll Think Of Me
Keith Urban
Music and Lyrics: Ty Lacy, Dennis Matkosky, Darrell Brown
From the recording: Golden Road, Track #5

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So...

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

Apple

Everytime I see her face, one word comes to mind.

Apple.

Nevermind, I said I wouldn't think about it.

远方来的祝福

:-D 谢了~ 承你贵言~

Apache Behind Firewall/NAT

Still having trouble with my Apache 2.0.52 installation on a laptop connected wirelessly to a firewall/NAT router. Perhaps someone will pass by here, read this, and help me out.

Port forwarding is done on port 80 on my SMC wireless barricade using both Virtual Server and Special Applications (triggers?). As far as I can tell, Apache does receive packets through the router (Norton Antivirus asked if I wanted to permit Apache when my friend outside my intranet tried to access my site). But the Apache access logs don't show anything,

At the moment I'm fairly certain that the problem lies with my Apache configuration. I've read numerous fixes on the web (port forwarding, NameVirtualHost, etc.) but none of them seem to work. I'll try a different web server program first to see if the problem is Apache, but any input from those in the know would be greatly appreciated.

Birthday Dinner

Went out to Tony Roma's last night with brothers and sisters to celebrate...

The food could've been a little better... two of the five racks of baby back ribs were sorta burnt.

Oh well, I was there for the friends, not the food.

The Feeling's Back

Yeah, it finally feels like school again.

Slaving over assignments and projects does that to ya.

Time for a quickie~ (nap, that is...)

That Nub on My Right Knee

It's unlikely that the cause of a physical scar will be forgotten, but here is the story about that nub on my right knee anyway.

It was grade 2 at Alliance Primary School. A bunch of us were running around playing tag in the small open area between classrooms during recess as usual. Only on this particular day, I happened to trip and fall. Mind you, this being staged in Hong Kong, there was no grass field for us to crash into harmlessly. No sirree, this was hardcore cement we're talking about. To add insult to injury (well, actually it was more like to add injury on top of injury), I contrived to land knee-first onto a lone piece of gravel perhaps the size of half a raisin (I can never say for certain, since the culprit was never apprehended), which proceeded to tear off an equal amount of skin and flesh from my knee. Blood, by design, gushed happily out of the fresh opening.

To give you an idea of how deep the wound was, let's just say I could see red veins running through white tissues and did not feel pain when merbromin (I think?) was applied.

My knee was subsequently put in a wrap for weeks. I couldn't even bend my knee for the first week or two. The flesh eventually grew back, but the patch of skin where the wound once was will always stand out.

You'd think I would've learned my lesson about running around in confined spaces. Unfortunately, that wasn't the last time I shed blood on school grounds.

My Earliest Childhood Memory

Been thinking about jotting down memories and recollections in anticipation of the day when my brain is so worn out that these memories fade into oblivion. So here goes.

The farthest back I can vividly remember was that one time I got punished back in kindergarten. Well, actually I don't remember the punishment itself, but I do remember what I was punished for. I had raised my coiled notebook at a classmate (a friend, even, I think, though of course back then I had little idea of what being a friend constituted), and chopped it down at his head, coil-first.

Needless to say, I got in trouble for that.

Do not, however, even think for a second that this incident made me any less reckless a child through primary school. There's more to come.

Pain

The pain still comes and goes.

Yesterday, it came.

Debugged Code Snippet

{
  int future_wife_quality = 0; // initialize to 0
  for (int i = 0; i < NUMBER_OF_FAILURES; i++)
  {
    int current_gf_or_crush_quality = rand();
      // who knows? therefore random
    fall_for (new Girl(current_gf_or_crush_quality));
    if (current_gf_or_crush_quality > future_wife_quality)
      future_wife_quality = current_gf_or_crush_quality
        + 1; // must be greater, so let's just add 1 right now
  }
  marry (new Wife(future_wife_quality));
}

Does this look better?

Code Snippet

{
  int future_wife_quality = 1; // initialize to 1

  for (int i = 0; i < NUMBER_OF_FAILURES; i++)
    future_wife_quality++;

  marry (new Wife(future_wife_quality));
}

Still to be debugged.

Warzone

That's my room.

All kinds of stuff scattered everywhere.... seriously impossible to find anything at the moment.

Ought to clean it up... don't know if my books are missing or misplaced...

挥霍

开始有点儿离谱了.

You're not helping...

It's kind of hard to not think about it when you don't stop talking about it.

So please, stop talking about it.

Preposterous

The notion that any girl would think about me night and day the same way I think about her night and day is preposterous.

At least as preposterous as the notion that I'll actually play ice hockey after all these years.

Ich verstehe nicht...

See, if the one I'm meant to marry is such a great gal...

... then wouldn't there be tons of guys going after her?

So what's to stop her from choosing someone else? Someone better?

By that logic, then, we arrive at the conclusion that I won't be marrying such a great gal...

... you see how my logical mind is killing me?

诗篇二十一

v.2: You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips. 他心里所愿的, 你已经赐给他; 他嘴唇所求的, 你未尝不应允.

Seriously?

Perhaps I'm still lacking in faith.

Singing in the Shower

I know who holds the future
And I know He holds my hand
With God things don't just happen
Everything by Him is planned
So as I face tomorrow
With its problems large and small
I'll trust the God of miracles
Give to Him my all

酉己

我不酉己.

我不酉己?

哦, 我不酉己.

好.

郁闷

闷闷不乐, 郁郁寡欢的.

和神这个气, 看来是赌定的了.

赌什么气? 没什么... 是我在男女感情一事上, 已经太累了, 厌倦了.

不再去想了, 不再浪费心机时间了. 衪不肯给我的, 多想也是多余.

衪肯给我的话, 让衪给吧. 我不想再花时间去找寻.

一次又一次的失望, 令我不敢再奢想了.

释怀

是自己多疑了.

*干笑数声*

还好没有做什么傻事.

动摇

很久没有尝过人家说我唱歌不好听的滋味了.

不好受.

是不是信心有点儿动摇了?

闷闷不乐的.

Order

Is it possible for one person to listen to the same sequence of events in two different orders and arrive at different conclusions? Or will he be prejudiced toward the one he arrives at after the first time through?

I'm torn between telling a story in chronological order vs. in the order of my recollection. If there's going to be prejudice, then the order I choose could be a huge factor in inciting the correct reaction.

谬论

Pamela 提出了荒诞的理论.

总觉得有点儿牵强附会.

是我过份悲观?

拼图

"不要再想了."

"你知道这是什么来的吗?" "冷."

"不要对人说."

凑不拢的拼图.

还差一块? 还是有两幅拼图?

(其实手头上好像还有一块...)

("你喜欢什么颜色?")

(不过... 好像还是不对...)

尝试形容

皮球破风的声音. 门楣撞击的回响. 皮球反弹的弧线. 每一下都震人心弦.

比高潮更高潮的高潮. 令人屏息以至喘息的表演.

对不起, 我还在笑. 就是那种看见鬼斧神工的创造而发出的笑. 那种不能自制的笑.

还是那句: This is better than sex.

... (笔墨难以形容)

Please, please, please, please, watch this video.

Oh, man, this, this is just pure joy.

Every time I watch it, my heart jumps, and I can't help but be moved to the verge of tears, yet I'm grinning the entire time.

Seriously, oh man, this is better than sex. This is like, pornography of a different class.

Please watch this video.

(And no, this isn't pornography. You think I'm that dumb?)

线索

"你知道这是什么来的吗?"

"冷."

灵光一闪.

可是, 又没有十分把握.

忍耐

沉不住气的人, 做不了大事.

疑惑

又想太多了?

总爱钻牛角尖.

真相何时大白?

一天? 两天?

一年? 两年?

还是半个月?

锁眉

眉头深锁, 有不同的原因.

厌恶.

烦躁.

思考.

圆月

秋末皎洁的月色, 穿透重重云朵.

云边一颗孤星. 云聚, 云散. 云无常定. 孤星依旧.

糊涂

"不要对人说."

迷惘.

也许, 我还没足够资格当聪明人.

无声的叹息

无声的叹息, 还算不算是叹息?

赌气

不知道和神赌气的下场会如何. 但我真的好累了.

豁出去了.

简洁

"不要再想了."

心领神会.

所以, 我一向喜欢和聪明人打交道.

Staring Blankly into Space

Coincidence? Or Providence?

漂白

屈指一算, 离开香港已有十一个年头. 算是个老华侨了?

这阵子常常和朋友谈论回香港的问题. 老实说, 对香港是压根儿一点好感都没有. 总觉得在香港没有前途, 没有出路, 没有希望.

三不愿: 不愿在香港找女朋友; 不愿在香港打工; 不愿在香港建立家庭.

所以发觉自己好像漂白了, 安于卡加利舒适悠闲的生活, 甚至开始讨厌热闹.

不过, 可慰的是, 有朋友的朋友看了这 blog, 说想不到我中文那么好(不是自我吹嘘, 我 quote 我朋友 quote 她的). 大概因为我是老华侨的关系, 所以觉得诧异吧~ 我朋友对我懂得国语拼音也表示希奇, 但我自己都已经忘记了是从何时开始用拼音打中文的了...

Better or Worse?

A nagging concern: Am I a better singer now than before I left? Or worse?

Separation

Just reached the 200-entries milestone, so in celebration I've chosen a new, brighter look for my blog.

Gotta love the separation of content and presentation. A few clicks of the button and voila! A brand new outfit for the same utterances you've learned to love (or hate).

As most of you might've guessed, I originally went with the black dots theme because it was the darkest one available, which went well with my stage of life back when I started writing here.

Hopefully this new look and feel will come as a breath of fresh air (not to mention relief).

释放

被释放了.

这几天是色迷心窍了, 疯了, 妄想了.

现在咒语被解除了, 自由了.

或许我将来的老婆没有她那么美. 或许我将来的老婆比她更美.

总之, 我爱的是我将来的老婆, 不是她.

谈高中, 叹高中

刚刚和 Pamela 谈天 (其实还在谈), 她给我看了一篇她写高中的回忆. 然后她提议我写一章瑞士回忆录. (算了吧, 我连意大利那十天都还没有写下来.)

不过, 高中真的很好玩. 记得上化学课时和 Alex Chen 调换座位来混肴老师. 上数学课时喝了杯咖啡就要睡, 最后还总分只得 99%. 午饭后到球场, 风雪不改, 还弄断了韧带. 还有一次和家硕坐在 locker 前对唱左右为难, 想起都觉得自己那时可笑.

哦哦, 还有两次送礼物给女生的, 两次都惨淡收场. 怪不得现在的我如此怯懦.

Risks

Those who know me, know that I've never been a risk-taker. (Unless you call not studying for exams and winging it "risk-taking").

But today I did something completely out of character.

I figure, hey, what have I got to lose?

Watch this space. If I get bit in the ass, you'll be the first to know.

Ready?

Think I might be ready to return.

Think I'm ready to let go of both issues.

退一步海阔天空

该是时候放手了吧.

There's Life In United Yet

A huge morale booster as Manchester United turned around a bad week by overcoming leaders Chelsea 1-0.

On a completely unrelated side note, the Calgary Flames are over .500 for the first time this season as of tonight.

无能

天, 我连礼物都不懂包.

The Sign of the Cross

The Cross represents many things in the Christian faith.

A sign of salvation. A sign of love. A sign of suffering, of the ultimate sacrifice. A sign of victory, of triumph over death. A sign of forgiveness. A sign of reconciliation. A sign of hope, of eternal life.

Today, to me, however, the Cross was a sign of mockery.

More Fatal Philosophy

用最少的努力换取最大的收获.

係我o既, 始終都會係我o既. 唔係我o既, 永遠都唔會係我o既.

Contemporary Christian Music

A sister asked why we never sing any new worship songs by contemporary Christian artists in fellowship.

I think most of the CCM (contemporary Christian music) popular today is more performance-oriented, more fitting to solo performances than group or worship singing. A lot of them are also songs that tell a story rather than just straightforward praising. For example, many of Mark Schultz's songs are inspired by stories he'd heard or personal experiences he'd gone through, such as "He's My Son", "Letters From War", "Do You Even Know Me Anymore", and "Closer To You". As a result, while the songs are immensely moving, they may not be fitting for a praise & worship.

I'm sure there are many contemporary praise songs available out there. We just have to recognize that not all CCM are suitable for singing in groups like in fellowships.

Can You Imagine?

I Can Only Imagine
By: MercyMe
From the recording: Almost There, Track #5

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face
Is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

* Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine *

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Repeat * x 2

I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

箴言三

v.5: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
v.6: in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
v.34: He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble.

v.5: 你要專心仰賴耶和華, 不可倚靠自己的聰明,
v.6: 在你一切所行的事上都要認定他, 他必指引你的路.
v.34: 他譏誚那好譏誚的人, 賜恩給謙卑的人.

世人的聪明, 在耶和华眼中, 看为儿戏. 狂傲自高的人, 非但得不着神的恩典, 更招致神的惩罚.

只是, "认定" - "acknowledge" - 究竟是什么意思? 怎样才算"认定他"? 怎样才能看见他所"指引的路"?

诗篇三十二

Of David. A maskil.
1 Blessed is he
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the man
whose sin the LORD does not count against him
and in whose spirit is no deceit.

3 When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
Selah

5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD "—
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
Selah

6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you
while you may be found;
surely when the mighty waters rise,
they will not reach him.
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Selah

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the LORD's unfailing love
surrounds the man who trusts in him.

11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!

大衛的"訓誨詩".
v.1: 得赦免其過, 遮蓋其罪的, 這人是有福的!
v.2: 凡心裡沒有詭詐, 耶和華不算為有罪的, 這人是有福的!
v.3: 我閉口不認罪的時候, 因終日唉哼而骨頭枯乾.
v.4: 黑夜白日, 你的手在我身上沉重; 我的精液耗盡, 如同夏天的乾旱. (細拉)
v.5: 我向你陳明我的罪, 不隱瞞我的惡. 我說: "我要向耶和華承認我的過犯, 你就赦免我的罪惡." (細拉)
v.6: 為此, 凡虔誠人都當趁你可尋找的時候禱告你; 大水泛溢的時候, 必不能到他那裡.
v.7: 你是我藏身之處; 你必保佑我脫離苦難, 以得救的樂歌四面環繞我. (細拉)
v.8: 我要教導你, 指示你當行的路; 我要定睛在你身上勸戒你.
v.9: 你不可像那無知的騾馬, 必用嚼環轡頭勒住他; 不然, 就不能馴服.
v.10: 惡人必多受苦楚; 惟獨倚靠耶和華的必有慈愛四面環繞他.
v.11: 你們義人應當靠耶和華歡喜快樂; 你們心裡正直的人都當歡呼.

求主教导我, 指示我当行的路.

撒母耳记上二十一

v. 10: That day David fled from Saul and went to Achish king of Gath.
v. 11: But the servants of Achish said to him, "Isn't this David, the king of the land? Isn't he the one they sing about in their dances:
" 'Saul has slain his thousands,
and David his tens of thousands'?"
v.12: David took these words to heart and was very much afraid of Achish king of Gath.
v.13: So he pretended to be insane in their presence; and while he was in their hands he acted like a madman, making marks on the doors of the gate and letting saliva run down his beard.
v.14: Achish said to his servants, "Look at the man! He is insane! Why bring him to me?
v.15: Am I so short of madmen that you have to bring this fellow here to carry on like this in front of me? Must this man come into my house?"

v.10: 那日大衛起來, 躲避掃羅, 逃到迦特王亞吉那裡.
v.11: 亞吉的臣僕對亞吉說: "這不是以色列國王大衛麼? 那裡的婦女跳舞唱和, 不是指著他說: '掃羅殺死千千, 大衛殺死萬萬' 麼?"
v.12: 大衛將這話放在心裡, 甚懼怕迦特王亞吉,
v.13: 就在眾人面前改變了尋常的舉動, 在他們手下假裝瘋癲, 在城門的門扇上胡寫亂畫, 使唾沫流在鬍子上.
v.14: 亞吉對臣僕說: "你們看, 這人是瘋子. 為甚麼帶他到我這裡來呢?
v.15: 我豈缺少瘋子, 你們帶這人來在我面前瘋癲麼? 這人豈可進我的家呢?"

忍辱负重者, 莫过于大卫也.
愚不可及者, 莫过于亚吉也.

Whirlwind

Relational Algebra. Worries. Tuple Relational Calculus. Anxiety. Structured Query Language. Confusion. Nested. Paris. Recursive. Eiffel Tower. Models. Diagrams. Paintings. Suspicion. Noise. Weariness.

It's a miracle I can get anything done.

Illusion

Seems as though I've created the illusion that I've changed.

Who am I kidding? People don't change.

Christmas Present

Saw something I really, really want to get for her this Christmas...

... but should I?

MacOS X Tiger on my Compaq?

Really tempted to swap a blank HD into my Compaq laptop and try installing MacOS X Tiger for x86.

Here are a few links full of information:

OSx86 Project
OSx86 Project Wiki
OSx86 Project Forum